I was an addict.

Posted by: dadadoll on: September 17, 2009

• In: art | die-hard-pilipina | music lover
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I am about to make one of those shameless conclusions:

If you are addicted to something, OF COURSE, you are selfish.

Well, I am not talking about JUST addiction to smoking or drinking (of course those are default premises attached to addiction), but I am talking about addiction in most broad aspects of…everything! Addiction to food, money, family, friends, relationships, religion, prayer, fitness, music, art, whatever! I am putting this without exception, if you have any, whether it is for good or bad, heavenly or hell-ish, addiction is addiction. Selfish. Period.

I am selfish.

Boo!

For the past few days, I suffered overstretched hamstring. My god, who knew there is such a thing?! I overdid a lot of training, convincing myself that I was doing the right thing, that pain is part of everything, blah, blah, blah… of course I was rationalizing, I have most fun when I run and do capoeira. It’s when I feel most alive, I was addicted. Hence, the classic overdoing.

I know a lot of people who smoke, and I ask them why. Most of the time find myself wincing after the “wala lang” phrase from them. Hey, not that I am excusing myself from anything. I had my fair share. I smoked, but there’s this one person who asked me why (the only person who dared), and as soon as I found myself out of answer, I dropped everything. I just dropped smoking realizing it’s the most preposterous thing I have ever tried.

When you’re addicted to something you don’t care much about anything that may hinder it, you just do it over and over again in a pulse no hesitations. Hence, my conclusion for selfishness.

Shameless conclusion number two: When you can do everything in moderation, for sure you will succeed in life (and in anything else you want to succeed in).

We are slapped in the face with a lot of balance-driven practices and concepts, like so the chi, but I just realized my lack of care of it. For sure if we find balance in work and play, activity and rest, creating and destroying (hehe!)… everything did in proper moderation, we will be living a life so in bliss.

I was an addict. I overdid. These are just MY shameless conclusions, I don’t think they can be so agreeable.

Nevertheless, today, I will rest.

I just refuse to be selfish again.

Tags: addiction, drinking, smoking, whatever, yapping